It’s amazing to me how easy it is to gain weight and how hard it is to lose it. I have this visual in my head about the whole challenge of weight loss / get fit and it looks something like this.
Am I right?? What’s missing from this is the strides you can make towards better health, but how quickly you can lose that footing. I think that would look something like this.
I feel like I was doing so well during the time I was unemployed. I was eating healthy. I was exercising. I was seeing change. Enter in finally getting a job. Yea! This is cause for celebration! And what goes along with celebration? Well food of course. Yummy, sweet, decadent food. And lots of it apparently. And also a new schedule that I could not figure out when to fit in exercise.
In the course of 3 months on the job, I have gained back almost 20 pounds. Ugh…
I’m back to counting calories and finally back to exercising. Thankfully, my job offers some onsite fitness classes so on Mondays I’m doing Zumba again and on Thursdays I’m doing an Extreme Fit class. Extreme Fit is like a bootcamp style class. We do lots of strengthening exercises with our own body weight as well as with resistance bands. Later on, we’re going to work with kettle bells. I do wish this class happened more than once a week. Of course I could copy the exercises at home, but honestly, I’m not going to do that. I have so much more motivation when I know I have a class to attend and people expecting me.
I am running. I’m working my way back up to 5K again. I don’t know if I’ll go beyond that or not. We’ll see how I’m feeling.
I’m using the app from http://www.Loseit.com to track my food and exercise. That’s one thing that I know from doing Weight Watchers is that I don’t lose weight by trying to guess how much I’ve had. I have to have a record that I can see and know where I am each day on my calorie intake and output. I do great during the week, but I think the weekends are killing me. I need to stay on top of it then as well.
Towards the end of my time off I was feeling great about myself. Even though I weighed a little more than my head tells me I should weigh, I was good with it. But I’ve really been struggling lately. I can look in a mirror and see that I’m pretty, but somehow I don’t hear that in my heart. I don’t feel attractive or desirable. My body isn’t shaped the way I want it to be shaped and that’s my fault by doing the things I know I shouldn’t do, or not doing the things I know I should do.
But I know that I need to treat my body better and to not listen to that voice in my head that tells me I’m less than. So I’m working on getting that voice to be quiet. Working again to see myself in a good light and for who I really am. Because while it looks like a physical issue it’s not. It’s a mental one and I’ve got a lot to work out.